Thursday 22 January 2015

Ethics and parenting: when two worlds collide

So, it's been a while! A lot has changed since my last post. I'm now a mother of two mischievous boys! My ethics have fallen by the wayside a bit as parenting is stressful enough without fretting about Eco options! I have, I suppose unsurprisingly, fallen unintentionally into the attachment parenting camp. It does seem fitting for my ethics to breastfeed, rather than support the likes of nestle (that's a whole blog post in itself!)

Sadly, I've come to realise that even parenthood has become commercialised. From your first midwife appointment, you are bombarded with advertising. The 'bounty' pack you are handed is rammed full of advertising mixed with helpful lists of things you need for your baby. Mums to be are almost brainwashed into thinking that babies need £1,000s worth of essentials. Even I was left a little stunned when the NCT instructor said that you don't actually need anything other than a few clothes. That's why attachment parenting suits me. Of course I bought into the baby industry at first too but now I realise that even the cot is surplus to requirements! Attachment parenting isn't a check list of things you must do, it's basically parenting by instinct. It's about being responsive and mostly how our ancestors would have parented. Unfortunately, the baby book industry is massive and there is a mind boggling array of books about how you 'should' be raising your child. Ignoring their cries, putting them in cot in their own room and winning battles of will with them is the norm in most books. Sadly, all this advice just leaves many mothers lost and confused. Mothers no longer trust their instincts and are left feeling inadequate when their child doesn't conform to the books. Believe me, I was one of them. According to the books, babies should sleep through the night and only feed every four hours. My kids didn't read the books! 

I still have guilt though. The disposal nappies fill up my wheely bin. As beautiful as reusable nappies are, I'm too lazy to change both boys nappies every three hours and spend all day washing them. In general, many aspects of attachment parenting are more ethical. Some AP mums cope without pushchairs, choosing a fabric sling instead. Even baby led weaning means you avoid buying ready made baby food. I'm not saying that AP is good for everyone, it doesn't suit everyone. But as far as I can see, it is more ethical in nature and that suits me down to the ground. 

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